2023, before you fade into the background of my life, taking up your new position as a calendar of memories, I can’t help but see the many faces of your last 365 days.
The heartbreak of losing loved ones, some to the heavens and others to the consequences of their choices. The sorrow cut so deep, I’m not sure 2024 or the years beyond it will ever completely heal a heart so scarred and tired.
The joy of discovering new places, with their ancient history and deep spirituality that seeped into my heart and soul in unexpected places. Centuries old churches called me to sit in deathly stillness, listening intently for the message to be delivered in a whisper “let.it.go”.
The rush of success that came from years of hard work and sacrifice, honing my craft, picking my battles, being the unpopular one, the one always asking for more, insisting “we can make this better”.
The friendly, familiar faces and arms of loved ones, pulling me into hugs and keeping me there those few extra seconds which I needed so badly, keeping me from sinking to my knees and throwing my hands in the air to give up.
The six second kisses every day before work, sealing the foundations over and over again on that critically important relationship we call marriage.
The welcome return to much loved places at home and afar, the thrill of travel energising my heart and mind, providing much needed space for creativity, rejuvenation, daydreaming and envisioning an ever blossoming future.
The messiness of the season of teenagers, damp with wet towels, heavy with tough conversations, knitted together with the urgent hope “everything will work out okay in the end”.
The global landscape of unnecessary wars, blind eyes turned away from climate crises, a planet returned to a new normal in recovery from a pandemic, cost of living runs away from us and the outlook is at best uncertain.
The consistent reminder to “keep it simple” and in each moment find the gratitude, count the blessings, come from a place of love instead of fear.
2023, your biggest lesson has been one of responsibility. I am responsible for my own happiness. I am responsible for seeking and finding joy, even when the chips are stacked high against me. I am responsible for putting myself first, prioritising self care, so I may then be in the best position to love and care for others.
So dear 2023, as you fade away and I sit here exhausted from your journey, I choose to be grateful for the lesson, the experiences that sent me soaring high and diving low, the privilege of being alive and getting to do life for one more year.
And with this, I bid you farewell.
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