Love well: In just 6 seconds

Can you change your life in six seconds?

Can a couple move from anger and resentment to calm, kind love in this short time span?

Can a wound heal in that same fragment of a minute?

Research, and my personal experience, says yes you can.

The six second kiss is a relationship secret that not only shifts a mood or resolves a battlefield, it builds a strong foundation that pays its dues in times of trouble.

Relationship experts the Drs Gottman, of Eight Dates fame, rate a simple six second kiss as a powerful tool in every healthy couple’s relationship kit bag.

It really is this simple.

Come together for a kiss (eyes open or closed, your call) and stay there for six seconds. I recommend you take a conscious breath beforehand so you don’t run out of steam. Count in your head for six seconds, then step back.

What happens in six seconds is nothing short of amazing. It fuses you back together. It melts bitterness. Sometimes it only moves you a fraction, but it’s a vital fraction, necessary to start bridging the void that cracked open during talks about kids or money or one of those other relationship triggers that catches you out at 7:45am on a Tuesday.

The power of the six second kiss increases tenfold when you make it a daily habit. Whether it’s the “goodbye” kiss before work or the “hey, we haven’t really stopped to see each other yet today” in the evening, when you do the six second kiss every day it really does bring you back into the presence of each other.

This works in non-romantic relationships too, where the kiss is replaced with a hug. Holding it there for six seconds might feel unnatural at first, but once you get past the first two seconds, you can relax into it. You can really feel held, loved, seen. Try holding one of those “triangle” hug for six seconds – its impossible!

In this global epidemic of loneliness driven by increased isolation, we need strong connections in our relationships now more than ever. Human touch remains a powerful healer, and it can’t be replicated virtually no matter how good the technology gets.

Don’t have anyone to kiss? Try hugging instead. Can’t hug?… perhaps there’s a pet you can pat, or maybe you need to start by hugging yourself.

I promise you, if you do this one small thing every day your life will start to change. Your relationships will deepen. You’ll feel seen. Your loved ones will feel seen. Good vibes will be amplified and tough times will feel a little less rough around the edges.

If it works for you, share the love, and spread the word – 6 second kisses and hugs for everyone!