Heal Well: be gone, anxious heart!

Anxiety (noun): a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome

Oxford Languages

Anxiety. It seems to be the common scourge of the 21st century. In our fast paced, rapidly changing lives where less and less seems within our control, including our own destiny and happiness.

Anxiety triggers our flight or fight responses to a potentially intense situation, such as a confrontation at work or home, the whereabouts of a lost teenager or an important presentation.

Trouble is, chronic anxiety can become less of a response to a trigger, and more of a permanent body state that prevents you from living your best life.

Firstly, if you’re in need of urgent help, assistance, or someone to talk to, stop reading and head to Beyond Blue, Lifeline, or another service that can provide you with the help and support you need right now.

I don’t think I’d experienced anxiety until about 6 years ago, around the time my marriage broke down. I’d wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I couldn’t breathe. My hair started falling out. I had no appetite, constant chest pain and was hyper-vigilant, always waiting for the next disaster to fall upon me. I felt out of control and exhausted from putting on a brave face, particularly around my children and work colleagues.

Whilst I worked through that life stage and all the changes it brought with it, including getting professional help, I fear that anxiety has become my body’s default during times of stress and struggle.

Some days are better than others, but I can go weeks with that hot uncomfortable feeling in my chest, constricted throat (like it isn’t safe to talk) and head racing with possible scenarios for a particular situation, most of them usually catastrophic.

It makes me short tempered, it causes me to second guess my judgement and paralysed in making even simple decisions like what to cook for dinner or what to wear to work.

I’ve been ashamed to admit when I’m feeling anxious, even to my partner, family and friends, because I feel like they expect better from me (that’s my perception, not theirs!) or that the care I need from them will be a burden.

The good news is, I’m getting better. Better at recognising early signs, at asking for help, and understanding how anxiety manifests in me and those around me. It’s a journey I know I don’t have to take alone, and it’s why I’m sharing it with you here.

So…Let’s get some facts

Beyond Blue tells us:

• Anxiety is a mental health condition, the most common mental health condition in Australia, affecting one in four of us – 30% of women and 20% of men
• Signs and symptoms of anxiety include panic attacks, hot and cold flushes, quick breathing as well as obsessive thinking and catastrophising and avoidance of work or social situations
• There are a variety of treatments available for anxiety including psychological treatments, medical treatments and anxiety management strategies
• The most important thing is finding the right professional to explore the right treatments with you

Symptoms and signs sound familiar? What now?!

From my experience, here’s what I do when I feel the chest tightening, obsessive thinking, anxious fear creeping up on me:

• Tell someone. It’s much easier for your partner, friends or peers to support you if they realise something’s triggering anxiety in you. They can help you look for patterns, and adjust your environment to alleviate triggers and stress responses.
• Journal. Your anxiety may be intensely personal and you may not be ready to share it with anyone but a health professional. I’ve been there. Writing down how you’re feeling, what’s churning in your head, heart or gut – without looking for solutions – can be a valuable circuit breaker for anxiety.
• Meditate. Take as long as you need, even if it’s just for a few minutes, in whatever form works for you. It could be a few deep breaths, a guided meditation or journalling. You can do this nearly anywhere – in the car, in the bathroom, wherever you can find a quiet space. I like the free app Insights Timer, specifically their Coping with Anxiety series that offers 2 minute mindful releases to bust stress and anxiety
• Unpack what’s going on. If I’ve overcommitted my time (making promises to more people than I can deliver to), consumed too much alcohol (not stringing a few alcohol free days together) or am not exercising (running, yoga or taking a short morning walk) I know I’m more prone to a panic attack or days of tight chested worry.
• Consider dietary factors. I gave up coffee a while ago out of curisity – would I feel less anxious without it? I can’t 100% conclude it was a contributor, but if I have an occasional small long back I definitely get the heart racing buzz that doesn’t sit well with me. For you, it might be sugar, alcohol, gluten or something seemingly innocuous like dairy foods. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat and drink, see if it holds an important clue to your physiology and experience of anxiety.
• Seriously consider getting professional help, including a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.

Charlie Chaplin

So what now?

• When you find what works to reduce or heal your anxiety, make it a priority to stick with it. If there are social situations, individuals or food/drink that are triggers for you, do your best to eliminate or avoid them. Similarly, if strategies such as meditating or journalling work, do your best to stick to those, too.
• Do some study or reading – check out our books list which includes books that help heal
• Take a self assessment like the one provided by Beyond Blue
• Talk to your GP or medical professional about what you’re experiencing so they can provide guidance, advice and strategies to manage your condition, even if its only mild

Finally, have hope. Take each day as it comes, getting the help you need from professionals and loved ones. You’ll get there.